Verily I confess unto thee, O Lord, my manifold sins and wickedness, for I fear I’m center of thine wrath and, in drawing such anger, hath visited Connecticut with collateral damage of biblical proportions – for yea, I was the one who scorned and trash-talked your servants in and near our nation’s capital last winter whilst they were smitten – even as they closed their schools with the mere whiff of the threat of foul weather.
Alas, my slander did not abate when those delicate ones fell prey to real snow. I even insinuated that New Englanders are of hardier stock and I dropped hints that they were “wimps.” Forgive me, O Lord. I did scorn those frail flowers in e-mails. I did disparage their brittleness on Facebook. I did mock them, revile them, and ridicule them – and I did it all for “the fun of it.”
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